💔 Part 3: How Your Childhood Taught You to Love—And How to Rewire It for Healing By Pink Aura Diaries, XOXO

 🧸 Intro:

Let’s be real—most of us were never taught how to love. We were shown, we absorbed, we survived... and then we repeated. Unconsciously. Generationally. Emotionally.

If you’ve ever found yourself asking,

“Why do I keep choosing people who hurt me?”
“Why do I fall hard, fast, and lose myself every time?”
“Why do I confuse chaos with connection?”

...then this one’s for you, baby. 💋

Because your love style isn’t random. It was coded deep within you before you ever had the words to name it. But now? You’re grown, awakened, and it’s time to heal what love used to mean—and rewrite what it’ll mean from now on.


💭 The Truth: Childhood Sets the Tone for Your Love Life

Let’s take it back for a second.

If you grew up around:

  • Emotionally unavailable caregivers

  • Love that was inconsistent or conditional

  • Silence, tension, or manipulation

  • Being the “fixer,” “peacemaker,” or “overachiever” to earn attention...

You probably learned love as:

  • Something you had to work for

  • Something that disappears when you mess up

  • Something that hurts but you tolerate anyway

  • Something that requires you to abandon yourself

And here’s the gag: you didn’t choose that pattern. It chose you—until now.


🔍 Inner Child Check-In:

Ask yourself:

  • Did I feel emotionally safe growing up?

  • Was I allowed to express my emotions freely?

  • Did love feel like a reward—or a basic right?

  • Was I seen or only noticed when I performed?

Your current love habits are a mirror of your earliest emotional environments. That overgiving, over-chasing, under-receiving pattern? It likely started at home.


📝 Interactive Journal Prompt:

“My childhood taught me love was…”
Let yourself feel it—not judge it.
Then write:
“But now I redefine love as…”
You get to choose the new definition.


❤️ The 4 Attachment Styles & How They Show Up

Understanding your love style starts with decoding your attachment style:

  1. Secure:
    You give and receive love freely. You’re emotionally available and trust is natural.

  2. Anxious:
    You fear being abandoned and often overgive or overthink. You chase reassurance.

  3. Avoidant:
    You shut down, fear intimacy, or push people away to protect yourself from rejection.

  4. Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized):
    You crave connection but fear it at the same time. Relationships feel like war zones.

✨Healing means becoming aware—not ashamed.


🧬 Rewiring: How to Heal & Redefine Love

You can’t choose better love without unlearning the old love. Here's how:

1. Identify the Pattern
What keeps repeating? Is it emotional distance? Giving too much? Losing yourself?

2. Validate Your Experience
What you went through was real—even if people minimize it. You were emotionally wired by survival.

3. Reparent Your Inner Child
Talk to that younger version of you. Let her know:

“You are lovable even when you're not perfect.”
“You are not too much. You were just unheard.”
“You don’t have to beg for love anymore. You are love.”

4. Set New Standards
Real love is not earned through pain. It’s received through alignment. You don’t chase. You choose.


👑 Pink Aura Affirmations:

🪞“I give myself the love I was denied.”
🪞“I no longer repeat what hurt me just to feel something familiar.”
🪞“I attract love that feels like safety, softness, and truth.”
🪞“I am no longer my childhood story—I am the author of my love chapter.”


📣 Real Talk Reflection:

Let’s Sip:
Think of the last person you loved.
Were you seeking a partner—or trying to heal a parent wound?

Whew. That one hit, huh?

This is not to blame—but to awaken. Because your healing starts with awareness, not shame. Your love story gets to evolve.


🔮 Reclaim Your Power

From now on:

  • You don’t confuse silence with peace.

  • You don’t confuse intensity with intimacy.

  • You don’t confuse effort with worth.

  • You don’t lose yourself to be loved.

You’re not chasing anymore. You’re choosing. You’re glowing. You’re becoming her.


💌 Pink Aura Challenge:

For 3 days, do this:

  1. Speak to your inner child every morning.

  2. Write what you needed to hear as a child in your journal.

  3. Repeat this daily affirmation:
    “I am no longer available for unhealed love. I choose peace, truth, and safety.”


💗 Up Next:

Part 4: “Can You Love Without Losing Yourself? (How to Stay Whole in a Relationship)”


✨ Tap in, baby:
🔗 Read More On The Blog
📲 IG: @pinkauradiariesxoxo
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💖 Tag a friend who needs this love glow-up

Pink Aura Diaries, XOXO

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