Pink Aura Diaries Presents: Don’t Kill My Vibe — Part 5: You Don’t Miss Them — You Miss Who You Were Before You Lowered Your Standards
You don’t actually miss them.
You miss yourself.
You miss who you were before you started explaining basic respect. Before you justified inconsistency. Before you convinced yourself that settling was somehow maturity.
What you’re grieving isn’t the person — it’s the version of you who didn’t doubt their worth.
Lowering Your Standards Changes You More Than Them
Here’s what nobody warns you about:
Lowering your standards doesn’t save relationships. It slowly erodes you.
You start second-guessing your instincts.
You shrink your reactions.
You negotiate things you used to require without discussion.
And the wild part?
The other person doesn’t even feel the shift the way you do.
They adjust comfortably.
You adjust painfully.
That imbalance is why you feel off even when things seem “fine.”
Nostalgia Is a Liar When You’re Healing
Nostalgia doesn’t show you the whole picture.
It edits out the disrespect.
It blurs the exhaustion.
It romanticizes moments that came with a cost.
So when you feel yourself missing someone, pause.
Ask yourself:
Do I miss them — or do I miss the version of me who wasn’t constantly compromising?
Because those are two very different things.
You Didn’t Change — Your Standards Did
People love to say, “You’re different now,” like it’s an insult.
Yeah.
You are.
You stopped accepting crumbs.
You stopped over-giving.
You stopped confusing potential with effort.
That doesn’t make you cold.
It makes you aware.
And awareness always disrupts dynamics built on you tolerating less than you deserve.
Missing Them Doesn’t Mean You Were Wrong to Leave
This part matters.
Missing someone doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice.
It means you’re human.
You can miss familiarity and still choose alignment.
You can feel the absence and still honor your growth.
You can grieve what was and refuse to go back to what broke you.
Growth doesn’t erase feelings — it teaches you not to let feelings override your standards.
Standards Aren’t Demands — They’re Reflections
Your standards don’t ask anyone to change.
They simply reflect what you’re no longer willing to tolerate.
And when someone can’t meet them, that’s not arrogance on your part — it’s information.
Information that says:
“This no longer fits who I am.”
You don’t argue with that.
You accept it.
The Right Energy Won’t Require You to Shrink
Read this twice.
Anything meant to stay in your life won’t require you to be smaller, quieter, or less discerning.
You won’t have to lower your voice to keep it.
You won’t have to dim your intuition to maintain it.
You won’t have to betray yourself to sustain it.
If something only works when you abandon your standards, it was never aligned — it was convenient.
P.A.D. Roll Call
What standard did you lower that you’re no longer willing to compromise?
Consistency
Respect
Effort
Emotional maturity
Name it.
P.A.D. Journal Prompts
Who was I before I started settling?
What did lowering my standards cost me?
How would my life feel if I never compromised my worth again?
Closing
You don’t miss them — you miss the version of yourself who didn’t question their value.
And the moment you raise your standards back to where they belong, that version of you comes right back.
Because self-respect doesn’t disappear.
It waits for you to choose it again.
Pink Aura Diaries, XOXO. 🖤🔥
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