Pink Aura Diaries Presents: Part 4: Your Standards Didn’t Change — Your Tolerance Did, Bitch
💎 Let’s Be Clear About What Actually Changed
Let’s clear this up before anyone starts projecting.
Your standards didn’t suddenly become “too high.”
You didn’t wake up unrealistic.
You didn’t become difficult overnight.
What changed was your tolerance.
You stopped laughing things off.
You stopped explaining your needs six different ways.
You stopped accepting effort that only showed up when it was convenient.
And when you stopped settling, it made people uncomfortable.
That discomfort is not your responsibility.
🔥 Why Standards Trigger People Who Benefited From Your Silence
Standards feel threatening to people who got used to your flexibility.
When you didn’t require much, access was easy.
When you didn’t speak up, effort stayed low.
When you kept the peace, they stayed comfortable.
The moment you stopped doing that, the dynamic shifted.
Now suddenly you’re “too much.”
Now suddenly you’re “changed.”
Now suddenly they miss the old you.
What they miss is the version of you that didn’t hold them accountable.
🧠 Low Standards Keep Relationships Alive — High Standards Keep You Sane
This is the part nobody glamorizes.
You can keep a relationship alive by tolerating disrespect.
You can keep access flowing by lowering your expectations.
You can avoid conflict by staying quiet.
But that version of connection costs you clarity, self-trust, and peace.
High standards don’t ruin relationships.
They expose which ones were never sustainable.
And that exposure is not cruelty — it’s honesty.
😈 Being “Low Maintenance” Was Never the Flex They Sold You
Let’s talk about the lie women were handed early.
Being low maintenance.
Being understanding.
Being easygoing.
All code for don’t ask for too much.
You weren’t meant to be low maintenance.
You were meant to be properly maintained.
Love should not require you to disappear.
Connection should not require self-neglect.
If someone labels your standards as “too much,” it’s usually because they benefited from you asking for less.
💣 People Who Respect You Don’t Fear Your Standards
Here’s how you can tell the difference.
People who respect you:
Don’t argue with your boundaries
Don’t try to negotiate your needs
Don’t guilt you for asking for consistency
People who benefited from your lack of standards:
Push back
Minimize
Get defensive
Standards don’t scare emotionally healthy people.
They scare people who were hoping you’d stay quiet.
📝 P.A.D. — Interactive Journal Prompts
Fill it in. Be honest. No soft edits.
I was called “too much” when I asked for __________________.
The standard I lowered in the past was __________________.
When I raise my standards, I notice people __________________.
Being “low maintenance” cost me __________________.
One standard I’m enforcing without explaining is __________________.
📣 P.A.D. — Call to Action
If this made you uncomfortable, sit with that.
Comment “DIAMOND” if you’re done shrinking to keep access—and come back for Part 5, where we talk about why self-respect feels lonely before it feels peaceful.
💎 Closing
You didn’t become harder to love.
You became harder to use.
And that’s not a flaw — that’s growth.
Stand by your standards.
They’re doing their job.
Pink Aura Diaries, XOXO 💋
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