💗 Pink Aura Diaries Presents: You Can Be a Girls’ Girl… But You Can Also Be a Bitch to a Bitch—Don’t Get It Confused! Part IV — “That’s Just How They Are” Is a Weak Excuse… And It Keeps You Stuck
I. Let’s Talk About the Most Overused Excuse
There’s a phrase that gets used way too often:
👉 “That’s just how they are.”
And every time it’s said, something important gets dismissed.
Because instead of addressing behavior, it gets accepted.
Instead of questioning it, it gets normalized.
Instead of correcting it, it gets protected.
And that right there?
That’s how cycles stay alive.
II. Understanding Someone Doesn’t Mean Tolerating Everything
Let’s separate something clearly.
You can understand:
someone’s personality
someone’s past
someone’s habits
Without tolerating behavior that disrespects you.
Because understanding explains behavior—it doesn’t excuse it.
And when explanation turns into justification?
That’s where boundaries disappear.
III. Excuses Are Comfort Disguised as Loyalty
A lot of women don’t excuse behavior because they’re unaware.
They do it because it feels easier.
Easier than:
addressing the situation
creating tension
possibly changing the dynamic
So instead, they stay in what feels familiar.
They tell themselves:
👉 “it’s not that serious”
👉 “they’ve always been like that”
👉 “it’s just their personality”
But what that really is?
Comfort.
Comfort over clarity.
Comfort over standards.
Comfort over change.
IV. Normalizing Disrespect Doesn’t Make You Strong
There’s this idea that tolerating things without reacting is strength.
That staying calm no matter what shows maturity.
But let’s be real.
Ignoring repeated behavior doesn’t make you strong.
It makes the behavior stronger.
Because now it’s:
👉 unchallenged
👉 uninterrupted
👉 expected
And once something becomes expected?
It becomes normal.
V. Standards Only Matter If They’re Enforced
Everyone has standards in their head.
But standards that aren’t enforced?
Don’t exist in real life.
Because standards require:
👉 action
👉 consistency
👉 follow-through
Not just awareness.
So when something goes against your standards and nothing happens?
That’s not a boundary.
That’s a suggestion.
VI. Saying “That’s Just How They Are” Removes Responsibility
This part matters.
When behavior is dismissed as:
👉 “just how they are”
It removes responsibility from them…
And places it on you.
Now it becomes your job to:
deal with it
adjust to it
tolerate it
And that’s not balance.
That’s imbalance.
Because now one person’s behavior stays the same—
while you keep adjusting around it.
VII. This Is Where the Shift Happens
The shift is simple—but powerful.
Instead of asking:
👉 “why are they like that?”
Start asking:
👉 “why is this being accepted?”
Because once acceptance changes, everything else follows.
Behavior gets addressed.
Standards get enforced.
Dynamics shift.
Not because people suddenly change—
But because what’s allowed changes.
P.A.D. Reality Check
Be honest:
👉 What behavior has been excused more than once?
👉 Where has “that’s just how they are” replaced accountability?
P.A.D. Journal Prompts
What has been explained instead of addressed?
Where have standards been known but not enforced?
What behavior has been normalized that shouldn’t be?
What would change if excuses were replaced with action?
Closing — Let This Sit
Understanding someone doesn’t require accepting everything they do.
And loyalty doesn’t mean tolerating what doesn’t align.
Because the moment excuses stop…
Standards start showing.
And once standards are visible—
Everything that doesn’t meet them becomes clear.
Pink Aura Diaries, XOXO 💗
Comments
Post a Comment